How to Positively Handle Negative Peer Pressure
Everyone will experience peer pressure at some point in their lives if they haven’t already. While sometimes there is positive peer pressure, where someone influences you to do something good (like study for a test, go on a walk, or take care of yourself), the peer pressure we will cover today is negative peer pressure. This is when someone tries to get them to do something that is not beneficial or helpful. Sometimes, it's because they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, sometimes there is intimidation involved, and sometimes it’s because they don’t know how to say “NO!”
According to the Kids Health Organization, these are some of the main questions that students have in relation to positive and negative Peer Pressure:
How Does Someone Get You to Agree to What They Want?
Insults: Others may try to make you feel bad about not doing something. They might call you names, such as “chicken” and “sissy."
Reasoning: The person might give you a list of reasons why you should do it, which may sound logical. But, if you examine them closely, you’ll find out they probably aren't.
Rejection: This is the main way that teens get you to give in to peer pressure. They might threaten to not be your friend, tell you that you can’t be a part of the group anymore, start rumors, or just ignore you.
Unspoken Negative Peer Pressure: Seeing all of your friends doing something might make you a little jealous, which makes you want to join them. Don’t worry; it’s normal. If they are truly your friends, they won’t reject you.
Where Does Peer Pressure Begin?
There are three different ways you might feel peer pressure. These are directly, indirectly, and individually.
Directly: Peer pressure can be as simple as someone telling you what to do. This is maybe the most obvious kind of peer pressure. If it is negative peer pressure, you may feel like someone is asking you to do something you’re uncomfortable with or know is wrong, or they may be threatening you. If you feel you are being forced into something, tell someone. Talk to your parents, a teacher, or your school counselor. Let a trusted adult know about the situation so they can help you!
Indirectly: You won't always know when peer pressure is happening because it can occur in different ways depending on who you are with and what they like to do. Every group of kids will have different values, habits, or activities from other groups. If you are with friends who smoke, then you might think that it’s okay to smoke, too. Another group of friends may like to watch movies, so you’ll go to the movie theater with them. If you have a group of friends who enjoy studying, then you may join them and increase the odds of passing your upcoming exam.
Individually: You might be applying peer pressure to yourself. If you are starting a new school or have moved to a new city, you want to fit into your peer groups. To do so, you may do things that you normally wouldn’t do. Before you join any group of friends, take some time and find out what they do for fun, how they act, and how they treat others. If you don’t like it or don’t agree with what they’re doing or how they treat others, don’t join the group.
What Can You Do About Peer Pressure?
Peer pressure can be a hard thing to resist since it's everywhere. When you don't give in to it, you may begin to think that you're “not cool.” You don’t have to do things you don’t agree with to be liked or loved; you are made perfect in God’s sight.
So what can you do? Say NO! It’s an easy word to spell, but it can sometimes be a difficult word to say. But when you do, you will know you are doing the right thing and standing firm in your values. If you ever feel peer pressured, remember that you have the power to say no and make your own choices. Take a deep breath and think about what feels right to you. You can walk away, change the subject, or even talk to a trusted adult if you're unsure what to do. It's okay to stand up for yourself and your values, even if it feels hard. True friends will respect your decisions and won't pressure you to do something you're uncomfortable with.
Conclusion
As you grow, you begin to listen to other people, such as your friends, teachers, and the media in helping you make decisions. But, in the end, you are in charge of yourself and your choices. 1 Corinthians discusses how bad company ruins good morals.
According to Reach Out, peer pressure can affect all aspects of your life, and once you get into bad habits, it's harder to change them. Think of it as eating potato chips: a few won’t hurt you, but if you eat the entire bag, you might get a tummy ache. If you surround yourself with positive peer pressure, you'll begin to change those bad habits into better ones. You can even be a witness to others around you! Matthew 5:16 states, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.” Now, we know our works do not lead us to salvation, but good works are a way of glorifying God and what He has done for us. Be the positive pressure in someone else’s life.
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